“Those who trust us educate us.” – T.S. Eliot
“If you’ve been in a situation in which you have failed those who trusted you, realize that not everyone is going to trust you again. Some people will shut you out for life; others may forgive you and allow you another chance to build a relationship with them. How do you rebuild trust with someone once you’ve lost it?
1) Start making commitments and keeping them.
2) Start making yourself accountable to others” – Brian Klemmer
The concept of trust is a fundamental part of any and all relationships with others and can widely affect ones view of self. Trust is “ assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something” To break down the definition even more, trust is the guaranteed dependence in the character, ability, strength or truth of someone or something.
I have had first hand experience with trust, the breaking of trust and the rebuilding of trust. Some of you know that I previously battled with an eating disorder quite a few years ago. In dealing with this I broke the trust of many people around me, all of my co workers, family, friends, therapists and relatives. I broke their their trust because I chose to lie and manipulate them to get what I wanted for my own personal satisfaction. I had very low character because I chose to manipulate people. They could not trust in my ability to do anything honestly because I was never caught telling the truth.
After being in recovery for some time I realized that there were 2 things I wanted back more than anything, and those 2 things were trust and love. However those 2 things I realized had to start from within myself. I had to ask myself “Can I love me?” and “Can I trust me, my body and my recovery therapists?” Some of the first few steps for me in recovering was to be 100% committed to defeating the addiction at any cost. That first step of “making commitments and keeping them” began with my therapists, my family, and what friends I had left. Then came the accountability portion. I struggled with making myself accountable to others, and being honest, because to be accountable you have to be honest and I was accustomed to manipulating the truth. I will never forget a life changing moment for me when my Aunt was honest with me and told me that she could not watch me hurt myself anymore and that I needed to make a change or she was not going to be able to be a part of my life. My aunt was holding me accountable to my commitment of defeating the addiction by calling me out and not letting me slide by with old behaviors. Eventually after asking for forgiveness and remaining accountable my family began trusting me, some of my friends came back into my life and began trusting me, however it took many years for me to rebuild that trust that I had shattered. Now I have rebuilt that trust to where it never was, it is now stronger than before, which is a beautiful gift in and of itself.
When I think of trust, I see it as a windshield… everyone I meet starts with a clean brand new windshield… the first time they break my trust it is like a rock hits the windshield and nicks it. The second time, a crack begins to form and then eventually if they continually break my trust the windshield shatters. However, if the person that shatters the windshield returns to pick up the pieces (asking forgiveness) I will in turn assist them in rebuilding the “windshield of trust”.
Are there “windshields of trust” that you need to begin repairing and rebuilding with someone? Are there “windshields of trust” that you can begin rebuilding with yourself?
Have a SUPER day everyone!!!!
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Rebekah Chavez
“If you’ve been in a situation in which you have failed those who trusted you, realize that not everyone is going to trust you again. Some people will shut you out for life; others may forgive you and allow you another chance to build a relationship with them. How do you rebuild trust with someone once you’ve lost it?
1) Start making commitments and keeping them.
2) Start making yourself accountable to others” – Brian Klemmer
The concept of trust is a fundamental part of any and all relationships with others and can widely affect ones view of self. Trust is “ assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something” To break down the definition even more, trust is the guaranteed dependence in the character, ability, strength or truth of someone or something.
I have had first hand experience with trust, the breaking of trust and the rebuilding of trust. Some of you know that I previously battled with an eating disorder quite a few years ago. In dealing with this I broke the trust of many people around me, all of my co workers, family, friends, therapists and relatives. I broke their their trust because I chose to lie and manipulate them to get what I wanted for my own personal satisfaction. I had very low character because I chose to manipulate people. They could not trust in my ability to do anything honestly because I was never caught telling the truth.
After being in recovery for some time I realized that there were 2 things I wanted back more than anything, and those 2 things were trust and love. However those 2 things I realized had to start from within myself. I had to ask myself “Can I love me?” and “Can I trust me, my body and my recovery therapists?” Some of the first few steps for me in recovering was to be 100% committed to defeating the addiction at any cost. That first step of “making commitments and keeping them” began with my therapists, my family, and what friends I had left. Then came the accountability portion. I struggled with making myself accountable to others, and being honest, because to be accountable you have to be honest and I was accustomed to manipulating the truth. I will never forget a life changing moment for me when my Aunt was honest with me and told me that she could not watch me hurt myself anymore and that I needed to make a change or she was not going to be able to be a part of my life. My aunt was holding me accountable to my commitment of defeating the addiction by calling me out and not letting me slide by with old behaviors. Eventually after asking for forgiveness and remaining accountable my family began trusting me, some of my friends came back into my life and began trusting me, however it took many years for me to rebuild that trust that I had shattered. Now I have rebuilt that trust to where it never was, it is now stronger than before, which is a beautiful gift in and of itself.
When I think of trust, I see it as a windshield… everyone I meet starts with a clean brand new windshield… the first time they break my trust it is like a rock hits the windshield and nicks it. The second time, a crack begins to form and then eventually if they continually break my trust the windshield shatters. However, if the person that shatters the windshield returns to pick up the pieces (asking forgiveness) I will in turn assist them in rebuilding the “windshield of trust”.
Are there “windshields of trust” that you need to begin repairing and rebuilding with someone? Are there “windshields of trust” that you can begin rebuilding with yourself?
Have a SUPER day everyone!!!!
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Rebekah Chavez